The fighting

You guys are going back and forth at each other! your chats are piled with mini-essays, perfectly expressed, and carefully selected words, no one wants to be wrong! The right words to express your why’s and frustrations. One of you, angry and fierce, the other hopeful, either way, your paths have come to an end, a couple of swearing in between, but nothing that can keep the magnets of love together!

Love at first sight 

I often believed that love at first sight exists and that if two people love each other, that nothing and no one can break that bond. I was wrong after I learned that when someone says they love you to the moon and back, it’s just until the next three months and done. At first, you were like Bonnie and Clyde, live and die for each other, but a break up will show you flames.


A heart burning with sorrow and pain. Have you ever thought how two perfectly happy humans, a couple can be so in love the one moment and the next hate each other to the point, that you resent the person for the rest of your life, I have been there but never understood how emotions just vanish in thin air.

The lesson

Heartbreaks do not come easy, one thing I did learn through all the heartbreaks in my life, is patience and to be more fragile with ladies. I read this Afrikaans poem the other day: “Rondom My (With me/Around me)”. The speaker in the poem expresses how love is something that one needs to take slow. You must get to know the person well and that love is not something that needs to be rushed into.


I enjoyed this poem, and this is also how I have lived my last few years, when it comes to relationships, too scared to break any more hearts. Not everyone gets past the heartache stage. Not everyone can build bridges and get over it. How do you pick yourself up and move on? Even if you could numb your heart, it would still not be enough as memories keep peaking at the window of your heart. Nevertheless, when two people burn bridges, you must be able to understand that a chapter has ended but that you will get through it.

How do you get through a breakup?  a lot easier said than done. After blowing off that first steam, read the following 7 ways to gradually carry yourself through the breakup journey:

1. Friends

Speak to your friends about what happened, your friends will have your back in most cases and will give you the advice to get through this breakup time. They an ear when you want to vent about your emotions. Speaking out to a friend can help you to demystify your overwhelming thoughts and emotions. If your emotions lead to not eating, because of the heartache, you can also seek professional help. Speak to a therapist or a close relative who can listen and give you the best advice.

2. Keep yourself busy

This might not instantly let you forget about the pain after your break up, however, it can act as a way to allow you to focus less on the breakup and more on the bigger picture. You and your peace of mind matter more. Invite a couple of friends over, enjoy some popcorn and watch a Netflix marathon. If you are more of an outdoor person, grabbing a coffee or lunch with your friends could be the ideal idea. You could also start a new hobby that will make you forget about the breakup and learn a new skill.

3. Learn to forgive.

It’s imperative to understand that forgiving someone, not only sets your heart free but also your partner. You both might have your indifference and why you decided to break up, but anger and resentment are unproductive emotions. You don’t have to face the person again, but to forgive is better than keeping a grudge against that person. Anger doesn’t change the heart of the other person but your heart.

4. Sign from the universe

Sometimes, people learn that they no longer feel the same way they did towards someone when they started. Sometimes people hurt each other or are too toxic towards each other. A breakup could just be a sign from the universe, that you meant for different journeys.

5. Read something

Those who read live a thousand lives. Not only does it keep you captivated, you always learn new things through reading, I started reading some books during the holiday. It was indeed the best way to distract me from not going out to my favorite store and possibly maxing out all my savings on all the nice clothes I want.

6. Take a run

After half an hour of running, your body will start releasing endorphins that may allow you to experience the “feel good” emotions, this especially will be good for you to blow off some steam and negative emotions.

7. Be patient

As much as you still trying to constitute in your head, why did you lose that person you called your everything and all. Remember as much as the “I love you to the moon and back” feelings vanished in an instant. Your heart will still take its time to mend. So you must be patient with yourself so that you can heal from your breakup.

Read more on dating app strategies how to make new friends or meeting a soulmate: Badoo: The Complete Guide

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